I Wrote This in the Middle of the Night
Two books you must read, my body, my kids, and more!
It’s 2:30 am and there’s so much I want to tell you that I just had to pop out of bed to jot it all down. I’m convinced that if I wait until the morning, I’ll forget it all. So, here. A few funny scenes. A few books. A few confessions. (Waited until a reasonable time to send this. Haha!)
Funny:
Scene: My 17-year-old son and me. Friday night. FaceTime from boarding school.
Him: Hey, Mom!
Me: Hi love! Wait, what’s wrong with your face?
Him: Nothing. What do you mean?
Me: Turn right and left. No, slowly. Is your face red? Are your lips swollen?
Him: Mom, stop. I’m fine. No, my lips aren’t swollen.
Me: I think they are. Let me look closely. (He comes closer to the camera. We both look.)
Him: No, I’m good. I just had Chipotle. But I did it; I fasted all day.
Me: What? Already?
Him: Yeah. For Yom Kippur.
Me: But honey, it starts tonight. You’re supposed to fast tomorrow.
Long pause.
Him: Well, I’m not doing it again.
Notes on my technology break:
Yesterday, I took 24 hours off social media and email. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Like, ever. I downloaded the Freedom app (7 day free trial!) and blocked those apps on my phone for 24 hours so I wouldn’t be tempted. At first, I kept hitting the apps out of habit and then the green screen would come up instead: Freedom. Go enjoy yourself! Oh, right. I felt edgy at first, not checking. But then, ahhhhh. Peace. Space.
This sounds obvious, but I was so much more present for 24 hours. No distractions. When I wasn’t in services, I was drawing at the kitchen table with the kids. I wrote letters — by hand. I finished reading two books. My adrenaline wasn’t pumping the way it does every day.
Now I don’t want to open the apps again. Like, ever. It was so nice. I highly recommend the detox. My brain feels recharged. Maybe that’s why I’m up in the middle of the night bursting with creativity.
Two books you must know about:
Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser by Amy Wilson
The backstory:
I was on Amy Wilson’s co-hosted podcast What Fresh Hell in November 2021. (Episode here.) Then, she came on Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books in February 2022 to discuss her book When Did I Get Like This: The Screamer, The Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be. (That episode is here. Transcript here.) I’d read the book when it came out in 2010 when my twins were three years old and had related to every word. I had just started Zibby Books and I suggested she write a book for us. See?
Now her book is coming out in January 2025! This is the true joy of publishing for me: making original projects come to life when they might not otherwise have existed. We talked after the podcast and came up with an idea for her book, at the time called Slack, about how she was picking up the slack for everyone else in life all the time but wanted to give herself more slack to say no.
I read the first draft of the book and gave detailed feedback on it to our brilliant Executive Editor Kathleen Harris who was also working with a freelance editor Andrea Robinson on the project. Then I let them do their thing. Last weekend, when I was just 57 pages into Amy’s ARC, I emailed Kathleen and said, “This is the best book ever. Can I blurb it myself? I’ve never felt so seen.” (They don’t need my blurb; Gretchen Rubin’s is already on the cover along with so many of my favorite authors.)
Yesterday, I finished it. IT WAS SO GOOD. It’s an original take on how we all do too much, the unrealistic expectations of motherhood, and how we can get through it. Amy shared a lot about health scares with her children (and herself) and more mundane things like getting her husband to finally buy more dog food without her having to ask (major victory).
It’s real and funny and honest and beyond helpful. Everyone needs to read this book, especially anyone with children. (Perk: large market!) You will fly through it. I read it in two sittings. Pre-order it here.
Like Mother Like Mother by Susan Rieger
I included this book in my top 22 reads of 2024 (did you see those?!?!) when I wasn’t even finished because I was obsessed and could NOT put it down. Now that I’ve gotten to the end, it was even better than I expected. It comes out October 29. (Preorder here.)
The backstory:
I met Susan Rieger two weeks ago when I stopped by the Dial Press breakfast at McNally Jackson bookstore in Rockefeller Center. I’d made time to go because I wanted to say hello to Ann Napolitano, author of Hello Beautiful, who I’d interviewed several times (listen here) but hadn’t seen in person, and also Allegra Goodman, author of Sam and now Isola, who I also had interviewed (listen here), but hadn’t met. Susan was the third author on the slate.
Susan spoke for two minutes about her book and I was hooked. Like Mother Like Mother is the story of a Jewish power woman, Lila, who dies on the first page. She has spent her life running a big Washington, D.C. newspaper, and passes away right after retirement. It’s about her relationship with her grown daughter Grace, who has just published a thinly veiled novel about her, something Grace immediately regrets. (Authors, take note.)
But it’s also about Lila’s childhood, her abusive father, her young mother, Zelda, who was institutionalized by her father and reportedly died in the psychiatric ward, a fact none of the three kids ever totally believed, and the ripple effects of that relationship. It’s about Lila’s marriage to Joe and balancing ambition with relationships. It’s about Grace’s best friend Ruth and the power of their female friendship. And it’s about the search for family, identity, and really, the search for a mother’s love. There are so many amazing characters of all ages. IT’S SO GOOD. And Kyle sent me news about the adaptation as I was finishing it! Pre-order it here.
Speaking of Pre-Orders
Here’s why they’re so important. I know it’s easy to think: yeah, yeah, sounds good. I’ll get that book later when it comes out. But you’ll probably forget. At least, I do. So, yes, it helps you. But it really helps the author. Publishers and retailers use pre-order data to make big decisions. It’s part of the machinery that actually works against discoverability but that's a conversation for another time.
When a book gets a lot of pre-orders, the publishers increase the print run. Bookstores take more copies. A big print run signals to the media that it’ll be a big book, so they’re more likely to cover it. It’s a whole circle that starts with you deciding to pre-order. Takeaway: if there’s a book you want to give a boost to, a real shot at making it though the noise of the insanely crowded market, just pre-order it.
So pre-order these two books — and while you’re at it, my book, On Being Jewish Now, which comes out in paperback on November 1.
Links to pre-order again:
Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser by Amy Wilson (paperback)
Like Mother, Like Mother: A Novel by Susan Rieger (hardcover)
On Being Jewish Now: Reflections from Author and Advocates — edited by me (paperback)
Speaking on On Being Jewish Now, I started a whole new Substack: ! Read it here!
Speaking of Books I Love…
I hosted a really fun party to celebrate my Fall/Winter Most Anticipated List and invited all the 200+ authors whose books I recommended. I know: the list was long. Check out all our party pics here.
Meanwhile, I’ve never gotten more compliments on an outfit before in my life! (Skirt and boots from Draper James!)
A Quick Note on My Body
I’ve lost more than 30 pounds in the past year. I started Mounjaro at the advice of my doctors given my pre-diabetes and other health issues. About 20 of you have told me that my experience caused you to go on it which has changed your lives too. Yay!
Yes, I lost the weight that menopause very rudely slapped on my 5’2” frame. But more than that, I lost the noise. I’ve struggled with overeating (the guilt, the bingeing, the dieting, the self-hatred, the vicious cycle) for decades. I’ve gained and lost 20+ pounds many times. I was a Weight Watches obsessive and counted Points for five years, even becoming a meeting Leader. I did everything: therapy, doctors, dieting, workout regimens, all of it. But I couldn’t stop the complete and utter focus on food. When I was going to eat next. What I would eat. I also couldn’t stop once I started. A bite of sugar set off alarm bells in my head like: go! And I wouldn’t be able to stop, even though I wanted to. I felt powerless. Addicted. Ashamed.
That. Is. All. Gone. I never think about food. I often forget to eat. I leave food on my plate. I stop when I’m satisfied. The dragon in my brain has been tamed. It’s completely liberating to live like this. (FYI, I tried Ozempic first and had horrific side effects. With Mounjaro I’ve had none. At one point I thought I was losing my hair and I was like: I’ll take it.)
I don’t cry getting dressed anymore. I don’t leave tons of discarded clothes at my feet because they don’t fit or because you could see the rolls in my back too easily. It all fits. It’s like a gift from God. Honestly, I didn’t think it was possible. It’s a crime Mounjaro isn’t available on everyone’s insurance. Hopefully soon. And I hear a pill form is in the works. It is the greatest invention ever, second only to maps apps with directions. Talk to your doctor. See if it’s right for you. I’ve never been so grateful.
Speaking of Grateful…
I’m going to be honored at the 92nd Street Y (now called 92NY) alongside my friend Erin Friedland on November 18th. I’m getting the Champions Award as one of the Extraordinary Women of 2024! They’re even doing a whole video about me which they came to my home and filmed. (I didn’t think they’d get the sneakers!) Join me then!
Also, earlier on November 18th, I’m doing a panel event at the Temple Emanu-El Streicker Center for On Being Jewish Now followed by lunch there with 20+ contributors. Join us! Get your tickets — livestream or in person — here!
Last Thing: Vote + Listen!
Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books has been nominated for two awards — and is losing in both categories. Can you please help?!??!?! Click the links below and then make sure to verify the vote in your email. THANK YOU.
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We have such a great week coming up and had great episodes last week!
Last week: The On Being Jewish Now episode with 40+ contributors sharing one line each; June Hersh on Jewish food and traditions; journalist Lee Yaron on the individuals throughout Israel affected by 10/7; literary magnate Alice Hoffman on her latest book about Anne Frank before the diary; and our Zibby Books author Sarah Sawyer talking about her debut novel The Undercurrent. (So good!)
Coming this week: Lynda Cohen Loigman on The Love Elixir of Augusta Stern and dating in older age, lost love, and the role of the pharmacist; Grammy-award winner and New York Times bestselling memoirist Jojo Levesque; uber-famous Renee Fleming on the brain chemistry of music; Cathryn Michon on dog loss, love, and reincarnation; and one of my favorite authors ever Sophie Kinsella on her latest novella What Does it Feel Like. We talked about the meaning of life, family, and how she’s facing a terminal diagnosis. We cried.
Subscribe to the podcast if you don’t already. Listen. Rate and review it!
Okay, now going back to bed (5 am). Think that’s it! Reactions? Let me know!
If this is you in the middle of the night...Zibby for President! Next time....
I’m always amazed at how much you accomplish! I feel like a slacker 😜